


It hurts me too

by LeilaLynnS



Series: Things Renjun does for his boys [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 22:34:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeilaLynnS/pseuds/LeilaLynnS
Summary: “I am not good for you nor you are for me.”Alternatively,Renjun pushes Mark away even if that meant ripping his whole being into pieces; he’d rather be shards of his former glory than end up breaking the man whom possessed his heart albeit unknowingly.





	It hurts me too

Seeking shelter under the desolated bus stop, two young men stare ahead as the rain kept on pouring quite harshly. Nothing is out of place, the screen showing the schedule of the bus arrival is already blank as the last trip has left ages ago and shops are mostly closed if not closing apart from the 24-hour convenience stores and shops. Nothing is out of place, the two men sitting side by side looks apathetic of each other; nothing is out of place apart from the red-rimmed eyes of the taller of the two.

Renjun, donned in a simple hoodie which is obviously not his and washed out jeans, kept his face devoid of any emotion, thinking that by doing so, he’ll manage to suppress the gnawing at his heart; maybe, just maybe, he’ll manage to get through this. It’s for the best.

The elder doesn’t look as well though, Mark’s usually kempt hair is all over the place and he’s obviously trying so hard not to break and cry although he’s slowly failing at it. Turning to the man who just dropped a bomb on him, the elder clutched his hand even tighter in an attempt to hold himself together, “But why Injun-ah?”

Renjun almost shattered. The pain and distraught evident in Mark’s face are slowly denting cracks all over his soul. He has to keep his absurd charade of being undeterred though, this is for the best. Turning to his will be _ex-boyfriend_ , Renjun threw a small empty smile as if emphasizing his point, “This is for the best, _hyung_.”

Outraged, Mark leaned back and grabbed his hair in frustration, “What best Renjun? This is breaking the both of us into pieces, don’t you dare lie to me that it’s not, so how can you say this is for the best?”

The first batch of tears slowly cascade down Renjun’s face, his throat is getting clogged, and his chest is clenching tightly. He refused to look at Mark, fearing that the pain he’s tried hard to suppress might just break just like an overflowing dam. “This is hard for me too, you know,” he paused, trying to even his breath which is starting to get rugged, “I can’t live with the judgement anymore hyung. The insults are getting harsher, the leers are hard to ignore anymore.”

It was Mark’s turn to harden, sitting upright, he turned to Renjun who’s still refusing to look at him, “Is this how shallow our relationship is? That it is easy for you to let go just because of other people’s opinions? Shouldn’t we refuse to mind what they say and focus on our feelings for each other?”

Biting his lips hard, Renjun turned to Mark with his flowing tears and choked back sobs, “That’s easy for you to say, you’re the golden boy, and I am the one undeserving of you.” Lowering his gaze, his voice softens, “I tried hard ignoring them, but it’s tiring, you know? With all the bullying and shit that constantly happens.”

Grabbing the smaller male’s shoulder, Mark softened his hardened gaze as he attempts to undo Renjun’s decision. “Why didn’t you told me? I could have-”

Cutting, Renjun softly smiled and cupped Mark’s face on his palms, “You couldn’t have done anything. The physical harassment would stop, but the verbal won’t. Let’s just stop this Mark.”

Letting go, Renjun stood up and gathered the still sitting Mark. This is the last time he’ll let go of himself. This is the last time he’ll feel this love and comfort. He can no longer ignore everything for this love, it’s hard to. Slowly letting go, Renjun placed one last kiss on Mark’s lips before turning away.

This is the end, an end which Renjun chose to do for the sake of both of them. It’s not only the people talking anyway, even Mark’s family doesn’t approve of him. It used to be easy to drone out those hostilities as he’s wrapped around the elder’s arms and tucked under his chin as he inhales the natural scent of his boy- no, _ex-boyfriend_ , the scent of disinfectant and bleach. It used to be easy getting lost in the elder’s eyes and lips. It used to be easy ignoring those mean comments.

However, that’s the fact, _it used to_. Not anymore when his little sister is getting called out for it, when his family background is getting questioned just because of getting romantically related with Mark Lee.

Well, not anymore. As Renjun walked under the pouring rain and harsh winds slapping against his body, he hugged himself close, willing himself to let out a choked sobbed. Not willing himself to look back and possibly run back to Mark’s warm embrace, he looked ahead and found the world so scarily dark and hostile.

It has never been this cold.

 

 

“A _h, such a pity Mark Lee is already taken.” One of the girls remarked obnoxiously loud, both unaware and uncaring. Renjun halted in his tracks hearing the loud comment from the women’s bathroom._

_“Yeah, and what’s even more shameful is that he’s taken by… **that**.” Another one scoffed while disbelief was heavily emphasized on her last word. Renjun felt his eyes burning as more insults drip from the women’s bathroom, all of which are directed at him, **the unworthy lover of Mark Lee.**_

**Author's Note:**

> This was really sad. This idea came to me while I was getting drunk with too much ballads and sad songs (Yes 'The Truth Untold,' I'm looking at you *squints eyes*). Despite being an angst, I had real fun while writing this, because y'know, angst.
> 
> I'm sorry if the series had taken a dark turn. That LuRen is stillllll...... underway. Yeah sorry. I hope you enjoyed? Or maybe you don't, so I'm sorry.


End file.
